REACTION: Gossip Girl Spinoff Episode 1

Well, it happened. The “Gossip Girl” spinoff finally premiered on Thursday.

The official description for the first episode, “Just Another Girl on the MTA,” states: “The start of a new school year at the Upper East Side’s elite Constance St. Jude’s ushers in the arrival of a newcomer, who soon finds herself thrust into a blinding spotlight. While other students cling to their comfortable, glamorous lives, a mysterious presence threatens to upend the status quo.”

The episode was written by showrunner Joshua Safran and directed by Karena Evans. I was very anxious to watch and now I’m anxious to share my reactions with all of you.

Gossip Girl Spinoff Episode 1, "Just Another Girl on the MTA"

• I thought it was interesting that the stream kicked off with a promo for “Genera+ion.” Yes, obviously they’re both HBO Max shows, but did “Genera+ion” do what this “Gossip Girl” is trying to do first? It wasn’t up to him, but if I was Safran, I don’t know that I’d want to draw attention to “Genera+ion” or any other edgy teen dramas.

• The episode began with the obvious Serena allusion, which fans and blogs picked up as soon as the photos of Tavi in her Serena-like getup came out. Safran has since acknowledged in interviews that Kate’s outfit and the show’s opening was an intentional callback to the original “Gossip Girl” pilot.

• I’m not of fan of when shows or movies do texts and social media posts onscreen. It’s always seemed cartoon-y to me. And I think it was a particularly bad idea for this show because there’s nothing novel about it anymore. Why are you copying a style that’s been done so much the last however many years? Isn’t “Gossip Girl” supposed to be the trendsetter?

• The inclusion of Luke Kirby amuses me just because of his TD connections. He starred opposite Michelle Williams (Jen, Dawson’s Creek) in Take This Waltz and opposite Katie Holmes (Joey, Dawson’s Creek) in Touched with Fire. I’m sure there’s other links as well.

• Zoya’s apartment was much less chic than the Humphreys’ loft, which I assume was a purposeful choice given how the original show was criticized for insisting the Humphreys were poor when their unique home certainly didn’t give that impression.

• With the reference to Nate being one of the school’s most successful graduates, we can only assume he has achieved quite a bit since the original show ended. Same with the reference to Dan being a novelist — it suggests that he’s had success with his writing career since we last saw him.

• It’s not believable to me that only one teacher at Constance knew of the Gossip Girl blog and only because she was a student there at the time. As big as Gossip Girl was, the blog should be the stuff of school lore. It’s similarly not believable that the students wouldn’t be familiar with it either.

• I’ve had no real opinion of her before this, aside from being impressed by her accomplishments, but I strongly disliked Tavi’s voice and her acting.

• I was also surprised by the deepness of Emily’s voice. And I am dying to know what mom Barbara Alyn Woods (Deb, One Tree Hill) thought of her daughter’s oral sex scene.

• It wasn’t clear how Gossip Girl knew the group was at the members-only club / bar / place.

• I didn’t understand why Obie and Zoya were walking in the rain in the first place. Why didn’t they immediately get into a taxi or call a Lyft?

• I was incredibly put off by the teacher taking that photo of Obie and Zoya half-dressed through the window. As he himself said, he should be arrested. I know the show isn’t intending to condone what the teachers are doing, but I have a real problem with criminal acts like that regardless. This action just made me want to hate him. And it’s wrong for the teachers to go after the students with Gossip Girl, period. I guess I hold teachers to a higher moral / ethical standard and this choice just disappointments me.

• It seemed apparent, and not in a good way, that this was Evan’s first acting role. There was just no conviction or emotion.

• So Audrey is horny. Who cares? Obviously her plot in this episode was supposed to be titillating, but it certainly wasn’t anything to be invested in. I know what’s to come from some of the spoiler-filled reviews, which covered through episode 4, so I get that it’s leading somewhere, but right now… who cares?

• I didn’t understand Luna and Monet’s whole photo thing with Zoya’s phone. The implication was that they made it seem like Zoya took a dick pic of Max — and maybe people were supposed to believe it was of Obie’s nether region?? — but, like, why would anyone care? Yes, I understand why the whole room essentially lit up upon being sent the photo — and how did Zoya’s phone send the image to all those strangers’ phones, anyway? Was it some kind of air-drop thing by being in the same vicinity? — but why would that get her kicked out of the event and be some kind of crushing and embarrassing thing?

• Not only did I not buy what happened there, but I thought Julien and Zoya both overreacted in their fight afterward. The issue, to me, just didn’t seem to be anywhere as big or as bad as they were making it out to be.

• I thought this with every Gossip Girl voiceover but especially the ending one: I just don’t buy Kate and the other teachers pulling off the Gossip Girl voice, tone, and writing style. It was incredibly unique and came from a very specific person pretending to be another very specific person. And just immediately Kate and crew are able to mimic it practically perfectly? That’s a leap for me.

• The “half-siblings as rivals” premise certainly isn’t a new one — hello, “One Tree Hill.” Similarly, half-siblings secretly plotting to reunite and get to know each other is also a well-worn trope. Safran couldn’t come up with a more unique premise for one of the main storylines?

• The other main storyline is obviously the teachers resurrecting Gossip Girl and becoming her. I just don’t get why we’re supposed to care about the teachers in the first place. Safran has spoken about how he didn’t want to make a conventional teen drama, but still… Apart from “90210” with Ryan Eggold’s character, since when have the teachers been plot-driving series regulars? It strikes me as such a weird choice for a show that should be centered around the teen characters.

• Also, with the characters being juniors, they only have two years left of high school (though Zoya is a freshman). Ostensibly, with only 10-episode seasons, the timeline could move really slowly and they could really milk how long it takes to get through those two years (and “One Tree Hill” took four seasons to cover junior and senior years). But after they eventually graduate, what is the impetus for the teachers to keep cyber-stalking and harassing them?

• In addition, while the original “Gossip Girl” was often set around school, specifically outdoors on the school campus, it rarely had to do with anything in school. I actually have a distinct memory of Charles Rosin (executive producer, Beverly Hills, 90210) telling me that for as much as “Beverly Hills, 90210” dealt with the characters being physically in their high school, they wanted to get out of the classrooms and whatnot as much as possible. I just don’t get the choice here to make the teachers such a critical part of the premise.

• I do wonder if Dan and all the other OG characters are aware Gossip Girl has returned and at the hands of some mystery person. What would they think? I hope that’s addressed somehow going forward.

• For all the chatter about the show being extra-steamy now that it’s on HBO Max, I didn’t find any of the sex scenes to be particularly eyebrow-raising or blush-worthy. It just seemed typical of content today and no big deal at all. Similarly, the overall quality didn’t seem in any way impressive or matching HBO standards. Honestly, at times I felt like I was watching a (bad) television movie, particularly the scenes with the teachers.

• I can’t help but question the decision to reveal the identity of Gossip Girl in the very first episode. I think the mystery of who Gossip Girl was on the original show was part of what made the show unique and kept viewers intrigued. Even though the characters here don’t know the identity behind the account, it feels for me as a viewer as if a balloon has been deflated. The “it” factor of the show has been let out. The Gossip Girl-driven excitement just isn’t there in large part because I know who Gossip Girl is… and I don’t think it makes sense, either. I wonder if at some point down the line, most likely in hindsight a few years from now, if Safran will regret these narrative choices.

• With 16 series regulars and 22 recurring characters, we’ve only met a small slice of this new “Gossip Girl” world. I’m probably most interested in Zoya and Obie right now, though Julien seemingly having a heart beneath her polished exterior draws me in a bit. Max intrigued me at times, but due to spoilers, there’s a part of me that’s already turned off. Regardless, the numbers 16 and 22 are just staggering. Are we going to be overwhelmed? Will we be able to keep everyone straight and remember all their names? Will they be able to do every character justice? I’m skeptical.

A lot of the reviews, some of which you can read in my special “Gossip Girl” spinoff edition of “Teen Drama Links,” have been brutal. It’s not surprising to me that the show, as of this posting, has a Rotten Tomatoes score of just 26 percent. But at the end of the day, the reviews aren’t what matter. Most of the teen dramas received terrible reviews when they debuted (and after), yet they still went on to become huge successes in different ways. While I wouldn’t be happy with the bad reviews if I was Safran, I’d also know that they aren’t going to make or break the show. After all, even shows with stellar reviews have been canceled prematurely, so it’s not some rock-solid barometer.

Most importantly, regardless of how I feel about the premiere — didn’t love it, kind of hated some parts, mostly feeling “eh” — and regardless of how critics feel about it, this is a milestone for the teen drama genre. This begins another chapter in teen drama history, for better or worse, and it’s significant for me personally as well. Since 2008, there have been six core teen dramas in my book. Now there are officially seven.

Welcome to the club, “Gossip Girl” spinoff. Please don’t let me down.

Now I turn things over to my fellow TeenDramaWhores: What did YOU think of the first episode of the “Gossip Girl” spinoff?!

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