REACTION: Gossip Girl Spinoff Episode 2.10

The “Gossip Girl” spinoff’s season 2 finale — and its presumed series finale — was released on Thursday, one week after the show’s cancellation and, incredibly, exactly 11 years after it was declared “Gossip Girl Day” in New York City on January 26.

Episode 2.10 is titled, “I Am Gossip.” The official synopsis states, “Julien begins her take down of Gossip Girl at the Met Gala with tentative support from her crew… but one friend harbors a secret agenda. Will Kate finally get her comeuppance, or will she get the upper hand? Max, Aki, and Audrey’s relationship hits a crossroads. The group travels to Rome.”

The episode was written by Sigrid Gilmer and Pilar Golden. It was directed by creator Joshua Safran.

Gossip Girl Spinoff Episode 2.10, “I Am Gossip”

• “If we can survive Georgina Sparks, we can survive anything.” Have they survived her? Is that really it with Georgina?

• “The last idea she didn’t run by us resulted in Zoya.” Julien has carried out plenty of ideas she didn’t run by them since Zoya.

• Since when is Shan part of the clique? If they haven’t used the group text since New Year’s, she certainly wouldn’t have been on it.

• The Harry Styles / Olivia Wilde line really dates this since they split in November, but then again, this is supposed to be taking place back in May.

• I don’t get why Obie is so loyal to Gossip Girl — so it doesn’t get out that he’s responsible for his mother’s arrest? He ultimately pins it on Heidi, anyway.

• Aki and Audrey having good sex just the two of them is a 180 from where the series started.

• So they think it will be believable that Zoya is Gossip Girl because she’s like Dan? But it wasn’t even believable that Dan was Gossip Girl!

• You don’t just get to decide to bring a plus-one to the Meta Gala. And even in a show that requires suspending disbelief, it’s really hard to believe they all got invitations.

• I was surprised by the Andy Cohen cameo, but then we got a better surprise: Jonathan! And he’s married to Eric!

• Jonathan said the original Gossip Girl is a “very complicated story that would take like six years to explain.” And it still wouldn’t make sense.

• “There’s no love story like Chuck and Blair. It’s straight-up mean.” Safran hearing the criticism.

• Why would everyone on the red carpet immediately believe Zoya was telling the truth about being Gossip Girl? Was there a simultaneous blast saying the same?

• The prospect of a movie deal was all it took for Kate to come clean?

• So Nate didn’t actually get into politics and is still running The Spectator?

• Everyone finally learning Kate is Gossip Girl was both satisfying and anticlimactic. It was great to see her get ripped as she deserved. But the scene just felt very understated and rushed.

• Two months later, we’re in Rome and we meet Philip, who Safran has said would’ve been a series regular and Zoya’s love interest in season three.

• This Naomi / Mimi is Julien’s mom’s sister — Julien’s aunt. Meaning she’s also Zoya’s aunt. And presumably, Julien is keeping this meeting a secret from Zoya.

• Who is paying for Zoya to go yachting for the summer?

• Are we supposed to care about Roger wanting to turn Gossip Girl into an app with Jordan?

• And I just realized I’ve made notes about Audrey-Max-Aki. That’s how predictable the Audrey-Aki / Max split was.

After the end-credits scene, I found myself muttering, “That was terrible.” And it really was.

Think about it: We spent two seasons watching this cat-and-mouse game, knowing Gossip Girl’s identity and seeing all the ways it was close to being revealed and never happening… and then it finally happened because of a fake movie deal and was wrapped up in a single scene? And then you do an end credits scene to give us an update on Jordan’s whereabouts but not Kate’s?

Even before that, the whole epilogue felt entirely unnecessary. It was a weird tonal shift. Obviously, it was originally intended to set up season three, and there was only so many changes they could make after the cancellation. Safran said on Twitter that one scene was cut and one was trimmed — would those have made this whole section make sense, even if it would’ve left us with a cliffhanger?

The terribleness only grows when you think about this season as a whole. What the hell happened to Mike? He completely disappeared without explanation after he got the information Georgina was seeking. After all the Georgina hype, she was in only two episodes and had no long-lasting impact. Monet drove much of the story in the first half of the season and then was strangely on the periphery in the second half — and nowhere to be seen in the epilogue. And what was the point in making Grace Duah a series regular? Shan barely had anything to do all season.

I just don’t understand these choices. Perhaps I will after reading any post-mortem interviews with the cast and crew, which I’ll collect for next week’s “Teen Drama Links.”

Safran said on Twitter yesterday that he is still trying to find another home for the show but it’s “unlikely” to work out. So, for now, I suppose “Gossip Girl” is dead. At this point, that’s certainly for the best.