Why Adults Still Gravitate Toward the Shows of Their Youth
Guest Post
When reached out to me last year, I was immediately taken in by her background. By trade, Benveniste is a psychologist, but she’s chosen in recent years to focus on a very specific aspect of psychology: the teenage mind. And sure, she could’ve chosen to explore this area in a clinical setting, through research environments, or via consultancy (all of which she has done), but Benveniste is now using a more unconventional method: the young adult novel.
Not only is YA and coming-of-age tales my favorite literary genre, but you don’t have to look too hard to see how closely they relate to my passion — the teen drama television genre. As Benveniste gears up to publish not one but two YA books — while also writing the newsletter on Substack — I couldn’t help but wonder: What is it about nostalgia? Why do I, at 36, still obsess over the teen television shows I grew up with? Why is bildungsroman the genre I’m most interested in?
Below, Benveniste dives into the connections between our teen hearts and adult minds.
Be sure to read all the way to the end to find out how you can win free admittance to Benveniste’s Never, Not Ever virtual book club!
Why Adults Still Gravitate Toward the Shows of Their Youth
By Jodie Benveniste
It’s been a long time, many decades in fact, since I’ve been an actual teen. I used to think, well, that era is over. Well and truly gone. Never to be revisited.
And I was okay with that, I think. Because I was moving on in life, with life, onto the next stage and the next. Many other things to focus on, no time to look back.
But I was wrong. Very wrong.
Because I’ve since learnt that, yes, you can physically and physiologically and based on your birth date move on from that era. But our teen years stay with us. Always.
Those experiences, those memories, they create an imprint that lasts.
That time you liked that person and they didn’t like you back. An imprint. That time you felt embarrassed and out of place. Another imprint. That time you had the BEST FUN EVA!!! Another imprint.
These imprints have been captured and contained by our inner teen, the rightful custodian of our teen experience.
Our inner teen has not moved on from that era. They are still representing, as they should.
Because many of those teen experiences have shaped us in profound ways. There’s an emotional potency to the teen years that hit hard. We don’t just feel those experiences. We FEEEEEEL them to our core.
So what now? How do we reconcile our adult lives with that teen potency?
We embrace it. Because there is so much we can learn from and with our inner teen.
Like how to reconnect with our pure potential, that feeling we had as teens where anything was possible. Or recapturing that sense of freedom when we had fewer responsibilities, less complexity. Or just having fun, lots of fun!
We can also reconcile, with the benefit of time and perspective, some of those more difficult experiences, ones where we felt less than or compromised or not good enough. We can support our inner teen and remind them how much they’re loved.
We can watch teen TV shows with them, read teen books, do some of the things we loved doing as a teen, together. We can also share our own wisdom with them and help them to embrace their own sense of worthiness.
This is healing. All of it. The fun TV shows and the more serious reflections.
Since I’ve rediscovered my inner teen, she’s taken me on a journey back home, back to myself. She helped shift me out of psychology private practice and back to my first true love, writing.
And not just any writing. But writing young adult contemporary romance. Her voice permeates every word and infuses every scenario.
It’s been a revelation. An experience where I get to keep one camp in adult land (we can never really escape it, can we?), but I also get to regularly visit my own inner teen universe. And that interplay creates magic.
Our inner teens are not going anywhere. Ever. And nor should they. We need them to revive our inherent aliveness and they need us to value what they experienced.
After all, they’ve helped shape us for who we are today. They’ve helped get us here.
Now we have the opportunity to travel together, us and our inner teens, more consciously, more intentionally, more relationally, as we live more fully as ourselves. That’s an exquisite invitation and too good an opportunity to miss.
Jodie Benveniste, an author and psychologist, writes young adult fiction, hosts a book club to connect with our inner teens, and explores the stories we tell ourselves over on her Substack, TeenU. Her next book club begins soon.
Alongside the publication of her YA novel Never, Not Ever, next month Benveniste is launching a six-week book club with advanced access to her book, exclusive weekly content, an online meetup, and a host of goodies. Participation costs $35 or $65 depending on the membership level you select — but one lucky TeenDramaWhore subscriber will be granted access FOR FREE.
To enter this special giveaway:
Make sure you’re subscribed to TeenDramaWhore on Substack. Any non-subscribers who fill out the entry form will be ineligible.
Fill out the entry form here by 11:59pm ET on March 31, 2024.
One winner will be randomly chosen and notified via email. Good luck!
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