REACTION: Gossip Girl Spinoff Episode 4

The fourth episode of the “Gossip Girl” spinoff, “Fire Walks With Z,” streamed on Thursday.

The official description states: “Zoya’s (Whitney Peak) attempts to avoid her birthday are no match for Luna (Zion Moreno) and Monet’s (Savannah Lee Smith) warpath. While Julien (Jordan Alexander) escalates tensions, Nick (Johnathan Fernandez) and Davis (Luke Kirby) put down their arms. Bad news sends Max (Thomas Doherty) on a bender, Audrey (Emily Alyn Lind) levels with Aki (Evan Mock), and Kate (Tavi Gevinson) gets an exciting opportunity.”

The episode was written by Courtney Perdue and Baindu Saidu, with Jennifer Lynch again directing. As this was the last installment screened for critics in advance, I was especially eager to watch it.

Gossip Girl Spinoff Episode 4, "Fire Walks With Z"

• Gossip Girl said “y’all” in one of her voiceovers and I still can’t believe it. That has been the most out-of-character Gossip Girl commentary to date.

• I find it hard to believe Julien would know who Josef Fritzl is.

• It didn’t dawn me at first that Zoya’s birthday also marked the anniversary of her mother’s death, and therefore also Julien’s mother’s death. How sad.

• I felt really badly for Zoya and Julien as they were both manipulated by other people into fighting with each other. Neither deserved that.

  • Zoya and Julien’s escalating war against each other also reminded me of cliche teen movies.

• I thought it was interesting that Audrey told Julien that Aki kissed Max, but Aki didn’t tell Obie it was Max he kissed. I understand Aki telling Obie that it was a guy, not a girl, would’ve been a “coming out” of sorts, but still.

• I liked Rafa wanting to help Max and resisting his continued come-ons, but the nude confrontation was SO awkward and then it was so predictable and cliche later on when Rafa gave in.

• At one point Zoya called Kate “Kate” instead of “Miss Keller.” The lines and boundaries continue to blur.

• I did not connect the name “Milo Sparks” with Georgina’s son until the big reveal. Shame on me for not picking up on that! I will tip my cap to that “twist.”

  • So where is Georgina these days?

• I liked Nick and Davis coming together. But you’d think they would’ve been more upset / emotional, given the death anniversary, than they seemed to be.

  • There was terrible ADR in the scene where Nick and Davis were talking at the party.

  • I still want to know the specifics of what went down with them all those years ago.

• One of the party sponsors was Baked By Melissa, which is SO delicious.

• I was really frustrated with and disappointed in Audrey for all the insistence about Aki needing to make a “choice.” But then she came around and somewhat redeemed herself. Perhaps needless to say, “Dawson’s Creek” handled Jack’s coming out while dating Joey much more sensitively and beautifully.

  • Did I spy some of kind of bandage wrapped around Aki’s hand in one of the scenes?

• So, again, the other teachers besides Kate mastered Gossip Girl’s voice? Since when? But as the episode went on, Jordan and Wendy weren’t taking the whole “social experiment” as seriously as Kate? Since when?

• I never heard of Princess Nokia before today.

• The initial secret video of Zoya was just her graffitiing her school. Was that supposed to be a big deal? They had made it seem like Zoya had done something seriously scandalous and seriously bad and that was neither.

• Even the “director’s cut” version of the video, what happened after the graffitiing, felt underwhelming. There was just all this buildup to what Zoya was hiding… and she was hiding that she was bullied and had been locked in a classroom and had a panic attack as a result? Okay.

  • To be clear, I am not minimizing what Zoya went through. I just don’t think the reveal matched the multi-episode hype.

• It must be really hard for Julien to see her ex-boyfriend date her sister. I do feel for her there.

As noted above, only the first four episodes were released to critics in advance, so it’s anyone’s guess what’s to come now. Are we just going to go around and around with Zoya and Julien? War, then peace, then war, then peace. Julien is bad, then she’s good, then she’s bad, then she’s good. Zoya is good, then she’s bad, then she’s good, then she’s bad. And the final moments gave the impression that while Jordan may be happy about Zoya and Julien reconciling, Kate wants to keep stirring the pot. So how short-lived will this détente be?

The Audrey-Aki and Max-Rafa (and Audrey-Max-Aki) plots have more directions to go in, and we do still need to see how Zoya and Nick’s housing issue is resolved. That will probably involve Julien and Davis in some way. I’m just waiting for something to actually be compelling. “Gossip Girl” has two more episodes to hook us before the first half of the season is over and there is a hiatus until sometime in the fall.

But who am I kidding? I’m going to keep watching regardless.

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